The Average Gal vs. Helium Balloons

I am pretty sure you haven’t lived a full life until you are doing 90kms/hr, through the city, Industrial music on loud, and a back seat of Helium filled Balloons punching you in the face.

Let me explain how this came to be for me.

On July 24^th, my awesome younger sister turns 30, HOLY SHIT.  Now I am much older than my sister.  I remember the day she was born clearly.  My older brother woke me up with shake to tell me ‘Mums gone to have the baby!”.

We were old enough to be left sleeping while mum and dad took off in the middle of the night to have our beautiful little sister.  I was 11, our brother 13.

We sat excitedly, all dressed and ready to go by the phone in the kitchen.  When it finally rang, our brother, Richard grabbed the phone and our dad told us we had a sister. YAY!

Dad came and picked us up soon after, he took us to Smitty’s for breakfast (bacon and pancakes!) and then we went to the hospital to see Mum and meet our sister.

I sat in a chair, with a gown on and held this tiny, pink and wrinkly little baby.  I remember asking why she was so wrinkly?! Richard knelt next to me looking fondly at the next sister he would do his best to make into a Tom-boy and smiled.

Afterwards, dad took us to go see Ghostbusters.

Best. Day. Ever.

Fast forward nearly 30 years.  I wanted to plan a nice party for Apryl.  She had conditions thought she made me promise to, absolutely not a surprise party and please not some gathering way out of town where our Mum now lives.  She said she would be thrilled with Thai Food and hitting a pub.

Done and Done

I booked a restaurant, contacted the people Apryl asked me to, picked up some Crave Cupcakes, and thought, my sister must have Balloons!

I drove to a party place that does Helium Balloons, picked out some colours and themed ones and hung about while they filled them up.

As I am paying for them the lady says to me ‘Okay now, so keep the AC up full and the windows down or these babies will pop.”

Me ‘Errr what?’

Lady “It’s Helium, it’s hot out, if you get these warm they will explode, in your face as you’re driving home.”

Me “Ummm alright”

Now here’s the thing.  I do not have AC.  Nope, it makes me instantly stuffed up so I never bothered getting it installed.

So now I am PARANOID that these balloons are going explode in my face. Awesome, not awesome.

I have to wrestle them in to the car, because of course the wind has picked up, Dwayne Johnson would have been proud of me.  I finally get them shoved into the back seat, because like a dumb-ass, my trunk is filled with crap that it doesn't need to be filled with.

I open the windows, check my rear-view and can’t see a fracking thing.  Let’s hope no cops see this clown car and decide to pull me over and ticket me.

I start to drive and the damn green HAPPY BIRTHDAY balloon immediately starts getting sucked through the window, now I did have the intelligence to get them all tied together and weighed down so it doesn't escape, but I quickly yanked that green one back in and power windowed the back windows up.

Fan-fucking-tastic. I can’t drive with the windows down.  So I try the front windows half down, keep in mind I am driving my car at the same time. Balloons, start flying and gyrating all over the back seat and that god-damned green one starts flying into the front and smacking me in the side of the face.  I couldn't make this shit up.

I am driving with one arm and the other one is constantly trying to punch that green damned balloon into the back seat.

Finally, a red light.  I try shove them back behind one of the seats, I look over and the guy parked next to me grinning with a grin filled with amusement on his face.

It starts to warm up in the car, I am so waiting for a balloon to pop, I wouldn't put it past that fracking Green one to fly forward, sucker-punch me the face and then explode all while in mid-shift of gears.

So I go the rest of the way like this, all windows done when stopped, once we start moving, as quickly as I can get the windows up, while balloons, mostly that jerk Green one, punches me in the face.

I believe I amused many people on the drive home, you are welcome Calgary.

20 minutes later I arrive home.  No popped balloons, I am STOKED. Take that Helium! Take that Lady in the store! Take that AC!

I get out of my car, open up the back door, slowly and carefully pull the balloons and BANG! The cool black 30! Balloon pops, in my face! 

The language that came out of my mouth, I am not proud of.  I am PISSED I lost one, after I got them all the way home, but my sister will have balloons for her birthday and they will be HER problem getting them all the back to the city she lives in, two hours south of Calgary.

Happy Birthday Apryl, enjoy your balloons, and keep an eye of that shifty Green one, it is currently taunting me from across the living room.

The Average Gal VS 2013

It has been an awesome and very busy year, here are some highlights!

Sister and I, of course, hit up the Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo.  We met John Barrowman and Nathan Fillion who are both impossibly better looking in person than on TV.  The were both also very funny and nice guys.  Nathan even remembered Sister and I later on when we went for a photo-op because we have different spelling names.  That was cool.  Also there was Micha Collins, Jonathan Rhys Davies, Norman Reedus and oh so many more cool people.  I think though, the best picture from the whole weekend is this one:

My sister got a pic with Norman Reedus and they got photo-bombed, by Steve Yeun.

The Expo's site is at:

http://www.calgaryexpo.com/

They have just started announcing 2014 guests, but sister and I are already stoked as Bruce Campbell will be there!

Sister and I went to New York and attended NYCC.  It was amazing.  This was one of my favourite things that I saw:

Okay, okay there were a lot of amazing things to see, but the bronze Alice in Wonderland was a cool thing we stumbled across, in the warm rain, that we didn't know was in Central Park.

I had booked us in to Maze, by Gordon Ramsay, which was a hell of a good meal.  We also had kick ass seats for the Book of Mormon.  We laughed our asses off.

We spent 4 days exploring New York, and then had 4 days at NYCC.

So there was this:

I met the very friendly Liam McIntyre.  I loved Spartacus so this was pretty kick ass for me.  I was also happy that he got the joke on my t-shirt.  (It's Jupiter's Cock! - which was a swear on the show). 

I got to meet the gents from 44Flood, after I was invited to a gallery night (at Last Rites Gallery).  I had sponsored Tome, a beautiful art collaboration they had put together.  For me, meeting Ben Templesmith and Menton3 was amazing.  I am a huge admirer of their art and comic books.  These two guys are super friendly and very kind (Menton3 gave me any 2 free prints, of my choosing, as a thank you for the support I have given to them and for coming all the way from Calgary to New York to see them). 

Below is my Templesmith /  Menton3 wall.  The zombie print is by Ben Templsmith and the other two are the prints I got from Menton3.

Ben customised the blood splatter on the zombie print, which makes it unique.  The top right image is from Menton3's comic series The Memory Collectors which you MUST check out.  It is truly one of the coolest and unique books I have read in a long time.  The bottom middle is his take on the Red Lady from Game of Thrones.

I love them!

To then skip to my other nerd-personality, it was damn cool for me to meet Dan Slott who writes Spider-Man now.  He signed a couple of my books.  There was a huge amount of talent at NYCC, I had taken 2 comic holders filled with books to get signed and got nearly all of them signed by the artist and the writers. 

I also attended a bunch of panels.  I really enjoyed the Marvel panels along with the Lost Girl panel.  I later was also able to meet Rick Howland and Paul Amos.  I joked with them about coming all the way from Calgary to meet them and they gave me a free t-shirt! Woot! Free phat lewt!

Sister hung out in the gaming section more, and took in a lot of the championship matches.  I did sit with her and watched the StarCraft world championships.  That was pretty cool, our brother was watching it Calgary and saw us on the big screen.  Guess the camera man thought my sister was cute lol.

I also bought these:

I am so excited to have them in my house, signed by Stan Lee, I smile when I think about it.

As an update on the book I am writing, I am STILL working on it.  Editing is way harder and more time consuming then hammering out a first draft.  I got some feedback from my sister but am waiting to hear from my brother who is brutally honest and critical.  I am hoping he can give me feedback somewhere between uncontrollable sobbing but stopping short of wanting to throw myself off a bridge. 

Sister and I attended 3 cons this year, the last one was in the City where she lives and it was their first.  It was quite a change coming from the massiveness of NYCC to the one room, 2 media guest Con in Lethbridge BUT I think it was a success for their first con and in a small city.

Sister did get me tickets to the con and for a pub night with actor Aaron Douglas for my birthday. The night with Aaron Douglas was AWESOME.  He is fraking hilarious and does genuinely come off as a nice guy.

So as I write this very brief 2013 recap, it is 2 days after Christmas, and I really should be showered and heading out the door.  Meeting the family in the mountains for a few days.  Haven't even packed.. not very not me at all!

The Average Gal vs. Herself

So last month I started NaNoWriMo, I ended up hammering out a novel in three weeks. I went over the 50, 000 word min they set by about 700 words and completed, for the first time a novel.  I then put it aside thinking I would give myself a week and then start editing.

The problem was, once I set it aside, I started getting nervous about what I had written. What if it is complete and utter garbage?  Another week passed and I still didn't want to open up my book and start reading it through.

It's been another week now... still no editing.  I just gave my sister a copy of it.  Depending what she has to say should give me the boot up the ass to either start to edit and potentially fish it out to a publishing house or just file it away under.. 'well I tried.'

Wish me luck... I sure hope my sister thinks it has even just a smidgen of potential!

The Average Gal VS NaNoWriMo

So I have decided to do it.  I have been writing since I was a kid in Elementary School, but have always been to scared to try and finish anything, get it published or let anyone (except an extremely small circle) read my stuff. 

I have zero self-confidence in myself, which is silly I guess.  Feedback has always been positive from those who have read my stuff even when I have begged them to be harsh and truthful.

So after seeing a post from my cousins husband moaning that he should do NaNoWriMo but meh maybe next year, I thought, that's me as well.  Then I thought about it all night and this morning then finally though WTF.. what do I have to loose?  Well the answer is not a god damn thing.  So I have signed up and now started on my book.  This is one I have been kicking about in my brain for a very ling time.  I have started it a bunch of times then giving up, as I always had a beginning and an end but never the middle meaty part.  I finally have that meaty part.

So, wish me luck.  I will try and post my progress (and more blogs, as I have been horrible this year at posting!) and hopefully in the near future there will be a blog post on where you can buy my book.

The Average Gal VS The Ginger Ale

I came home with bags of groceries after work tonight and opened the fridge to start putting stuff away ....ACK yup needs a clean out.  I pull out old stuff and gave it a quick wipe, the whole time eye-balling and semi ignoring the 3 large glass bottles of homemade Ginger Ale. 
"I really should pour those out" I said to Padmé who was poking her nose into the bags of food.

*side note - I made this ginger ale last summer, it was supposed to be fizzy after 3 days.  When I tried it after 3 days then 7 days later, no dice.  I left them in fridge thinking I could still use the mixture somewhere as even though it wasn't fizzy it WAS rather tasty. *

I pulled the three bottles out placed them on the counter and popped open one.  SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL it was like that Geyser at Yellowstone National Park.  It was like someone took a bottle of champagne, shook it for a millennium and then handed it to me laughing like a jack ass.... Padmé RAN for her LIFE! I stood paralised... what was happening .. WHY was this happening... the stuff was flat!  It took mere seconds for the entire bottle (minus a small amount) to spray up and around my kitchen.  Most of the 1.5 litres was now running down my counter top on to my tile floor, splashed up above on my cabinets, microwave dripping, the fridge across from the counter, dripping... OHHHH NOOOOEEEESSSS!

I pulled every tea towel I own (which is an amazing amount, I have come to the realisation this evening) out and started to mop it all up.  My socks - soaked through, my pants, splattered and wet... my dog... no where to be found (heart of lion Padmé has).  Her food soaked through and mushy, water bowl, topped up.  What a flippin mess!

After wiping it all up, I was left with a nasty sticky mess, so I have had to also wash all my floors, all my cabinets, my microwave, fridge and counter tops.

Lessons learned:

1. 1.5 litres can cover A HUGE area, when sprayed
2. Flat homemade ginger ale will eventually fiz up if you leave it long enough
3. my awesome video game reflexes has diminished in my old age
4. Padmé is afraid of flying ginger ale and piles of wet floor mats and tea towels..
5. Swiffer wet works well on sticky ginger ale floors

*sigh*

I'm exhausted, I think I will have a strong cup of tea and maybe a biscuit.

The Average Gal vs the Brake Lights

So earlier this week, as I was stopped at a light, a guy pulled up next to me and motioned for me to roll down my window.  I hesitated, since I potentially could have cut him off earlier with my assertive driving, but he didn't look mad, so I rolled my window down.

"Check your brake lights!' he shouted at me ... Caught off guard, I shouted back 'errr hu?' by this time traffic was moving and he should have been long gone.  "CHECK YOUR BRAKE LIGHTS' he bellowed, with the car behind him laying on the horn, he gave the driver behind him the bird and took off. 

Hmmm I thought, I guess I should check my brake lights... I drove home and TOTALLY FORGOT cause I was tired and not really thinking about it.

The next morning as I backed out of my parking spot, and hit my brakes, I could see the red of my brakes and thought, oh yeah check my brakes... but I see red.. they must be okay.  Maybe the lights are just dirty and with the sun, the guy couldn't see them right.

Couple of days passed, and last night driving home from picking up my weekly comics, there was this huge truck behind me.  One of those ones jacked up 50 feet high, that looks kinda stupid, the kind you joke about that they are making up for lacking in other areas of their life *cough* you know what I mean. 

I popped into my local grocery store for some milk, and this mass of man comes in, that I realise quickly is the driver of said massive truck and he very politely says to me ''scuse me" I turned to him and he smiled and said 'sorry, but your brake lights are out" ... "all of them?" I asked.  "No, the main 2, the centre one in the hatch-window is working"  "Oh thanks very much" I said, feeling firstly stupid about not realising the red light was the middle light I noticed, and 2 judging the polite and kind young man for chasing me down to tell me.

So, how long had both my lights been out?  I shudder to think, hopefully not much longer then the first warning I got.  It also, made me think, wow 2 different guys made a big effort to tell me about the lights being out, because really, how do you know if your rear lights are out?  You can tell when the head lights go, even the left and right blinkers are easy to check... but brake lights?  Note to all, get someone to help you check your brake lights!

I also found it interesting that no women tried to tell me, it was a man both times.  After that 2nd incident I googled, 'How to change the brake lights on Mazda 3 sport" then removed a bulb, went to Canadian Tire, found the correct bulb and changed them both out.  In the parking lot, I found an older man and told him I had just changed my brake lights and could he tell me if they worked.  I touched my brakes and he gave me the thumbs up.

I now have all three brake lights working just fine (yay me for changing them myself, difference I am guessing between $5 and $105, if I asked Mazda to do it).

I found driving home today that I was studying the brake lights on all the cars in front of me, if I ever see someone with burnt out bulbs, I am going to do my best to let them know!

Jan. 25, 2012 Comic Update

The newest 30 Days of Night came out today and I can say I nearly fell off my treadmill (yes I read comics or novels when I work out, makes the time go by much faster).  I have always been a Steve Niles fan girl (see previous link to his website), but one of the things I like about him (besides his no nonsense take on horror and none sparkly vampires) is he isn't afraid to take risks with his characters.  Also see his series of Criminal Macabre, same thing, lots of ass kicking and violence.

My second pick this week is Rachel Rising (again see links below), I wasn't sure were this was going, I kept reading and hung on and this week paid off.  For sure the best issue in the series so far.  I am glad I stuck it out with this one.

The next series, is Game of Thrones, I am a HUGE fan of these novels, I think they are the best series of books I have ever read, and I always have a book or two on the go.  The comics are wonderfully drawn and capture the spirit of the books.  Note: I loved the tv series as well and look forward to season two in April!

The ongoing Walking Dead series was the fourth read on the treadmill today, I love this series (see previous posts about the comics vs the show).  If you read the series ya know what I am talking about, if you have only see the AMC show... my god go read the comics!

I still have this weeks I, Vampire and Infestation 2 to read, but I had to get off the treadmill and make dinner and so on... will post about them later.

Happy reading!